


shane dawson is pete wentz's worst enemy

by HowDoYouWrite



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Band, Fluff, Humor, M/M, its just pure fluff, patrick lowkey dislikes pete at the start, thats really it, there is no purpose to me writing this i just wanted to write peterick fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:58:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowDoYouWrite/pseuds/HowDoYouWrite
Summary: "the next book i pull from this shelf will describe our relationship from now on"





	

To put it simply, Patrick was nowhere near prepared for college. Between not being a morning person, his many panic attacks, a bad habit of procrastinating on absolutely everything, and having to deal with a roommate- well, he just wanted to get it over with. Speaking of his astonishing procrastination skills... 

"Aw, did Stumpy forget to buy his textbooks?" His new roommate, _Pete_ , chirped.

"Oh, if you don't shut your mouth I'll do it for you," Patrick growled and shoved the door to the bookstore open with full force. 

"And how do you suggest you do that?" Patrick wasn't looking at him, but he could hear the challenging smirk in Pete's voice, which pissed him off even more. Patrick picked up his pace as he walked towards the center of the store, just to force his roommate to jog. Pete kept yelling at him to slow down, but he suddenly forgot how to hear things. How astonishing.

 

Pete was convinced that his roommate hated him. So, of course, he had to fix that. His plan? Annoy the guy until he liked him. Looking back at it now, Pete realizes that that idea could've been improved greatly. Maybe he should have laid off the nicknames, too. Oh well.

When he first realized his "foolproof" plan wasn't going as well as he thought it would, he moved onto Plan-B: Confrontation. Now, Pete knew that nobody likes confrontation, but he just didn't give two shits about that. Unlike his beautifully angsty poetry that he posts on LiveJournal ( _"I feel better about myself when I use vintage websites, okay!")_ would suggest, Pete wasn't exactly the best with words in person. Which is why he decided to skip the talk by sprinting up to Patrick and  _tripping him_ to get his attention. This action was only met with one of those type of glares that really made one glad that looks couldn't kill, and a loud " _WHAT THE FRICK, YOU HECK_ _?_ "

"'Heck'? Did you really just say 'heck'?" Pete was a second away from doubling over in a fit of laughter. 

"We're in public!" Patrick hissed, "There are children!" Pete shrugged and helped him back onto his feet. "Why the fu- _uuuuuuuuudge_ did you trip me anyways?"

Pete shrugged again. "Wanted to get your attention."

"Why?" Patrick added a groan just to be dramatic.

"Why do you hate me?" Pete blurted out.

"H- hate you? You really think I hate you?"

"Yeah." Pete shrugged for the third time in under a minute. "Don't you?"

Patrick wasn't really expecting that to be the reasoning for him being tripped. He was more expecting it to be along the lines of his roommate saw a pretty girl and wanted to invite him to a threesome, or that he was going to go to the Dunkin Donuts across the street and try to order Starbucks from them. Maybe he would've admitted to being the Zodiac Killer's son, whatever, Patrick wouldn't have been all that surprised. Being asked if he hated the other man, however, did take him by surprise. The accusation wasn't entirely off, but he didn't think he was at the "hate" level yet.

"No, you're just kinda... outgoing. More than I'm used to, I guess," Patrick tried explaining without offending Pete.

"God, if you think I'm outgoing, you should meet my friend, Brendon. He's basically a hyperactive chihuahua on acid," Pete joked. Patrick gave his best fake chuckle to make the situation less awkward.

"I don't think our relationship is ruined to the point of hate yet. Sure, you've been kinda very annoying-" 

Pete cut him off, "I tripped you and made a shitty sex joke."

"Yeah, yeah you did," Patrick sighed before continuing, "But, like, I don't hate you. Yet. So don't screw up and you should be fine."

"Oh, no! Screwing up is my speciality," Pete tried joking again, but this time his... friend, he guessed he could consider him... frowned instead of laughing.

"I'm gonna go find my textbooks now."

 

Pete was curious. Curious as to why Patrick hadn't bought the books before. Why he didn't hate Pete. Why he refused to ask for an employee's help when he couldn't find the books at first. Why he looked so cute when he was concentrated. Why his eyes were constantly sparkling. Why h- _Woah_ , gay thoughts, gotta tone that down before you get a boner in public, Peter! 

Patrick's  _(fucking gorgeous and wonderful sweet)_ voice snapped Pete out of his thoughts, "Found them, hecking finally."

Pete snorted, " _Hecking_." Patrick playfully slapped him with one of the books in response. The two exited the aisle before Pete spoke up again. "I don't want you to hate me. I'm gonna try to be less... y'know..."

"Annoying? Extroverted? Stupid?"

He nodded. "All of the above, yes." Without thinking, Pete turned into the nearest aisle, causing Patrick to follow since he refused to get lost in a book store. 

"What are you-" Patrick begun, but was abruptly stopped when his roommate clamped a sweaty hand over his mouth. All he could think was  _Grossgrossgrosssweatgrossitssodamnsweatygross_ , and was very relieved when the hand was removed a few seconds later.

"The next book i pull from this shelf will describe our relationship from now on," Pete stated, determined and content, and closed his eyes. He reached out to his left and felt around for a book, and finally was able to pull one of them from the shelf. He heard his friendroar with beautiful laughter, and felt himself turn red before he even opened his eyes to see the book.

_It Gets Worse, Shane Dawson._

"Oh, fuck me in the ass like I'm a gay pornstar." Pete groaned and shoved the book back on the shelf. Fucking Shane Dawson, man. 

"No thanks, man. 'Least take me out to dinner, first," Patrick said in between giggles. 

"Let's fucking go, then. It's like, two in the afternoon, that's dinnertime enough for me!" Patrick was about to object, but Pete was already dragging him out the door and to wherever he had in mind for a romantic dinner-in-the-afternoon date.

 

"Wendy's. A fucking Wendy's. You ass." Patrick wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry, or yell, or maybe all three. He wasn't even positive if this counted as a real date, but he was pretty sure by the look on Pete's face that this was the real deal. 

"We can share a giant thing of nuggets, this'll be the best damn date you've ever been on in your entire lifetime," Pete stated, almost proudly, and opened the door for his friend. "Ladies first, of course!"

Patrick switched to his public censorship as he walked in, "Heck off."

Pete was sure he was falling in love.

 

Pete swallowed an entire chicken nugget whole as Patrick looked on in fascination. "Christ, you seriously just did that!" 

"You bet your ass I did!" Pete smiled widely, unable to contain his joy. 

"The children, Pete!" The younger man shrieked, banging a fist on the table.

"We're the only ones here." Pete, a grown man, began giggling uncontrollably, causing his date, another grown man, to also begin giggling.

He didn't even know he could be _this_ gay for someone before this day. 

 

"So what does this make us?" Patrick asked as soon as the two men walked into their dorm room. 

"Uh, well, if you wanna be my boyfriend that would be pretty chill..." Pete trailed off, trying to act cool. However, in reality, he was having a small heart attack and was internally endlessly screaming. He thought he might've started sweating, but he figured he was always in a state of dripping wetness with Patrick around. Pete stopped thinking there because he thought that was horribly gross and didn't want to elaborate to himself. 

"We met, like, three days ago."

"But you're hella hot," Pete pushed.

"You... you are, too," He stuttered, "But we barely know each other. Plus, you just said 'hella'."

Pete tried to act like he wasn't highly disappointed and like the fire the other man set his small heart on didn't just disintegrate it into dust. "It's fine, I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable in a relationship. I understand."

"Oh, fuck no, we're definitely dating. You're too cute to let go," Patrick gushed and Pete felt his heart suddenly come back and fill the short-lived emptiness in his chest.

He hugged Patrick, not letting go, never wanting to let go, and listened to the beat of Patrick's heart. 

"Shane Dawson was wrong," his  _boy_ friend mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah he was." Pete held on tighter and kissed Patrick's cheek. 


End file.
